We Present to You: One Broken Rose

Posted on October 15, 2010


Before i begin it is important for me to stress that One Broken Rose or OBR is in fact, male. Yep he is male but an exceptional character. On a regular day he presents his tongue in cheek, sometimes dramatically painful/humourous views on relationships here . Today however he will be sharing his insights with us on GlamTings:

Hello lovely people, how are you doing today? I’m sure many of you don’t know me to I’ll try keep the introductions brief and straight to the point.

My name is One Broken Rose, but you can call me OBR. I like my cereal with little milk balls that didn’t dissolve floating around like little sweets. (Forgive me…I shouldn’t have used the word balls)

Today’s discussion…Know him well before you say I do!

You see many women have veils covered over their eyes when the fall in love. All they see is the white dress and the guy who’s about to exchange padlocks (sorry rings) with them. Very few have tried to fully research their better half before the day they say I do.

3 years down the line….

 You wake up and find out he slept with his socks on but managed to remove his TM Lewin shirt and hang it neatly in the cupboard.  You get up to make a healthy breakfast, but he is more interested in the left over meat in the pot from yesterday.  He gulps down orange juice like it were water and does all this still wearing the socks from yesterday.

When he does take of the socks he throws them in their special place…on shoes at the corner saying they need time to breathe. And then…he heads for the remote. Like a child who never played Nitendo, he flicks through the channels like he’s trying to watch more than one show at a time…he drinks more juice.

You make a mistake of asking if he feels the spaghetti from last week is bad. He takes the Tupperware, opens it and places his nose so close to it you want to have a mild heart attack. He leaves the nose there for a few more seconds and then vocalizes his findings “I’m…not sure!”

3 months in your marriage…

You finally let your head down and show him that keeping up appearances is hard work. So once in a while you wake up with the “out of bed look” and if you’ve got nappy hair…you look like you could win an audition for Star Trek Galactica. He finds this rather upsetting.

And what happens when he meets the comfy underwear? You know what I’m talking about ladies…not everybody wears Victoria Secret 24/7!  There are days you just want to get on with other important things like catching up on Oprah.

Or you notice he doesn’t talk to you while you are busy in the bathroom, especially if it wasn’t for a little wee. Yes ladies, your man married a poster girl and is finding it hard to adjust to the fact that you are also human.

You see very few women actually spend time with their future husbands. I’m not referring to going on weddings or dates or hanging out at the malls because there’s no electricity at home.  I mean actual time…talking, exchanging couch potato positions and watching movies back to back. This in my view is where you see and meet the real King of your castle. All the bad habits and boyish behaviors come out and you can choose there and then how to deal with it.

So here’s my suggestion (You can take notes now people)

Every couple should exchange “Manuals” before they get hitched. The “dos” the “don’ts” and the hell “nos”. Then leave a page or two for the things you can compromise on. Yes this could be written, designed or even typed and printed on pretty colourful scented paper. You could go as creative and add pictures on what you look like in the morning (but for those of you who shave your eyebrows . . . not a good idea)

And if that doesn’t work…

Shock therapy! Let him get to know you the same way your family, best friends and mirror do.

 For more of his views on relationships, check OBR out on http://www.switchedonnaija.com/

 Have a great weekend Guys!

Posted in: C'est La Vie ?