What will you be remembered for?

Posted on September 24, 2010


Now I know I said this would be up on Thursday but it was a classic case of the spirit was willing but the body was weak. Yea caught some random bug that I’m still trying to shake…just call it fatigue for now. However that’s not why we are here :).

In writing what will you be remembered for, allow me to go back 4 years:

If I had to write my autobiography today I already know who will be in it. It might be shocking to some that some family members might not get a mention while some friends will. I have had the opportunity to hear what might have been said at my funeral. Some people cried, others were grateful for my second chance while others yet carried meaningless rumours. Such is life. I remember after my accident being grateful that I was alive to refute those rumours and that my mother didn’t have to go through that. I also remember being surprisingly touched at the people who were crying. That was odd, not odd that people would cry for me, but odd at the people that were crying for me….asides of the usual suspects of course…

That was the excerpt you voted for, let me continue. I remember being in the hospital after the accident and my phone wouldn’t stop ringing. I got phone calls from people in different countries, from people I hadn’t heard from in years and from people in different countries that I didn’t even know! Such was the impact of the event. I even remember one of my friends that I had had a bit of an ‘issue’ with [we hadn’t spoken in 3 years at that time], calling me in tears. Apparently whatever it was that had caused our issue ceased to be important in light of my would have been ‘demise’.

Now that is why we are here. We all have our ‘issues’, issues with ourselves, issues with others. Can I just say, will you take it from me? That unless the person killed your parents or family member….that issue can be worked on and even dare I say forgiven? Even if they killed your family member…please forgive them. Not for their sake but for yours. You see we make the mistake of thinking that if we don’t forgive the wrong that has been done to us, that the other person suffers for it. However that’s not the case. We are the ones that cage ourselves. Unable to move forward because we keep looking back. More often than not the other person is moving forward full throttle with their lives and we are the ones standing still. After the plane crash I’ve found it hard to hold a grudge. Even when my ex broke my heart into a hundred million pieces I forgave him and have moved on. An important lesson I have learnt is, if you tried your best and it didn’t work then it wasn’t meant to be. Time clarifies a lot of haziness.

Now one thing I will not forget is how many random people cried at the thought that I could have died. Like seriously? You expect family members and close friends to cry [you hope they do lol] but I remember random people that maybe all I had done was give them a lift in the past….weeping. Yikes! Not to trivialize what was a very special occurrence, but do you know how many people you impact just for being you? Can I encourage you to do something nice for somebody at least once a day? To tell you the truth you are not just helping them but you feel better about yourself too.

It wasn’t all gravy though. I remember people that I thought would do more, not even show up because ‘they thought my house would be full of visitors and my phone would be busy’….yea. Somebody actually said that to me, somebody who I thought was ‘close’ to me. Also what about the time I went to somebody’s house with my friend? After being introduced to the mum as ‘the girl who survived a plane crash’ the mother said ‘thank God but really what were you doing on the plane? The plane crashed in Abuja what were you doing there? You must be one of those ‘aristo’ girls, looking for men in Abuja’ #crickets. She said that to my face. The *insert expletive here* woman obviously didn’t get the memo that the plane was en-route to Sokoto where yours truly was ‘serving’ her country as a NYSC corper. People are wicked and also slightly dim and I am so glad that I didn’t die and my mum be subjected to such tomfoolery. Ok so that last sentence had way too many ‘ands’ please forgive me.

So I guess it boils down to this. Life is short, one day we are living life as normal, the next day life changes. Sometimes it changes to something better, other times we might have the carpet pulled out from under us. This is not to sound morbid. We pray for long life and we believe God answers our prayers. However even if you live to be 70/80 what will you be remembered for? The amount of shoes in your closet? The amount of Brazilian hair weaves? The Armani or Saville Row bespoke suits? The cars? Money? All meaningless.

I actually cringe now when I hear people talking about the ‘hustle’. We all like good things. We all want not to have to worry about rent, bills….the necessities and even maybe the luxuries. However money is not everything, its not even close. It’s all about what we do with it and how we impact others. I believe that once you have paid your bills and you have some savings….give. There is always somebody that needs your help. Give your money, give your time. Give back. You see the mistake people make is that they think you have to be Bill Gates or Oprah to give/ help people. No. you are missing an important lesson. The more you give the more you receive. It is life. If your fists are closed to give, then they are closed also to receive.

I don’t have that much, probably don’t even earn as much. However as I look around my room I see that I am blessed. I recently had the opportunity to give away some of my clothes, some still with the labels on. I gave away bags and bags and yet my wardrobe is still full. Why? Because the more I gave, the more I was given. Even if you say you don’t have clothes or money to give…you have time. Give somebody an hour, just to listen. Or help them move or help with a project they are working on. There are so many ways to help. Get creative.

At the end of the day that which will last, what will have an impact is not your image, not your reputation, not your mentions on the Forbes rich list….what will have an impact is the impact you have made on the lives of others.

What will you be remembered for?

God bless you, have an amazing weekend


Posted in: C'est La Vie ?