‘1+1 is 2, 2+2 is 4, when you start to divide xyz over 155 you want to scatter your head’…so go the lyrics of a popular African song. The lyrics to the song are funny but true.
I remember wistfully my primary school days. I declared I was gonna be a doctor and live in a house painted with crayons. In secondary school the best friend and I played FLAMES with the name of our current crushes. Do you remember FLAMES anyone? Where it was an acronym for Friends Lovers Admirers Married Enemies and Smooching lol or whatever variations were out there. Based on the outcome of this game our crushes fate was sealed; they were either going to have to marry us or just be friends; if they were unlucky then enemies it was. How simple life was. In university I declared to whoever wanted to listen, that if a man cheats…you walk out. Simple. In my work life I think that if you work hard and keep your head down, you will succeed.
Sounds simple yes? So where do the complications come from? Well I’m thinking the problem started from my crayon mansion, everything seems to have gone downhill from there. So no crayon mansion, the FLAMES formula does not always work, I’ve seen people get back with their other halves that cheated and they ‘seem’ to be doing ok. As for work….let’s just say its still a work in progress.
However I cannot help wishing that things would be easy. I wish people would treat me the way I treat them. I wish that on the days I wish to be left alone, people would leave me alone. But no, nothing in life is ever easy at least not from where I am sitting [yes I am having a mini rant, back to the topic :-)].
I see things in black and white, life doesn’t have any greys. However people tell you that is nonsense. For example: ‘he didn’t lie, he just bent the truth’ or ‘he did it for your own good, he didn’t want to upset your feelings’. Or how about this; ‘how can it be wrong if everybody is doing it?’
Life isn’t hard. Life is straightforward, people aren’t hard; people are straightforward. I was recently talking to a girl who has a crush on a male friend of hers. The boy had already told her that he’s not looking for a commitment or relationship, yet she has allowed herself to fall in like. Now who will be blamed for that broken heart? The boy who said from the get go that he didn’t want a relationship? Or the girl who thought she could change him?
Scenario 2: Girl A knows that her friend, Girl B has a philosophy that says there is nothing wrong with dating a guy who already has a girlfriend. Who is to blame then, when Girl B runs off with Girl A’s boyfriend? The girl who should have know better than to introduce her friend to her man? Or the friend that has no regard for boundaries or friendship?
People will always show you who they are. The Good Book says, out of the abundance of the heart so the mouth speaks. It means that if you give people time they will eventually tell you what’s on their heart/mind. The problem though is when they tell you do you listen? Or is there something within that thinks ‘oh never mind…I can transform ya’.
Newsflash: You CAN’T.
Only God can and for Him to do that the person must want to change as well. So looks like you are stuck. I was gonna write this to the females but the truth is I’ve had male friends tell me the same. If a girl tells you, my dear friend that she is a rolling stone and she doesn’t have time for a relationship because of her career right now. Why would you think that what she was really saying was ‘oh maybe you can change my mind’? Calling a spade a spade, she has already told you where to go #kanyeshrug.
On one hand people say relationships are hard, but on the other hand they are not, we just need to listen, not just hear….listen. It’s amazing the clarity that results when we begin to pay attention to life’s sign posts. May I also go as far as to say that we would save ourselves a lot of headaches and heartbreaks if we listened more and rationalised less.
Consider this, my two cents on the matter 🙂
P.s thanks Mr Kuti for the topic idea click here http://www.switchedonnaija.com/ to explore his creative genius