I’ve been staring at this sheet of paper for 2 days now with the heading on it. Now I’m wondering why is it so hard for me to write about being naked or au natural? That is how we came into this world is it not? That is how we were for the first part of our lives was it not? Was I the only one who removed my clothes as soon as they were put on as a toddler? I wanted to run freeeee. However as I grew up, I actively sought clothes. In fact now, shopping for clothes is an active past time.
Thinking back though to my childhood, it seems almost coincidental that my desire to put on clothes occurred around the same time that I began to realise that the world was not all about cerelac and planta time [Kids that grew up in Nigeria will know exactly what I am referring to lol]. I also realised that just because my uncle had promised to take us to the amusement park did not mean he had any intentions of actually doing so. Furthermore it was a painful realisation that our spoiling of my mother’s office door meant that Father Christmas was not gonna make an appearance that year. Yes I still have unresolved childhood issues, who doesn’t? #kanyeshrug. The more clothes I had to wear the more issues I seemed to have. Until in my mind I began to equate clothing with emotional armour.
Think about it. It’s not that far fetched. If you are a guy going on a date with a new girl, you break out that very shirt, the girl magnet. The one that quietly states I’m confident and I know it and now guess what? You know it too…dass right! Hola.
Girls, there’s a reason our rooms look like the US have just bombed Iraq when we leave for the date. It’s all about the armour baby. Hmm maybe I should do a post on the date armour. You know that little black/red/purple dress that says ‘no conversations about how your ex broke your heart baby, tonight we are drinking to new beginnings’ or the shoes that say ‘I pity the fool that tries to mess with me’ [in a Mr.T voice of course]…ah I seem to have gotten carried away again. Sorry folks back to the deep stuff lol.
I have found in recent times that I can hide behind the clothes I wear. I have my work wear armour, the suits and shirts that proclaim I know what I’m doing. Ha! Let me tell you a secret; many times I don’t. I have however learnt to fake it till I make it. In relationships I’ve learnt that keeping your clothes on in relationships causes them to work out just fine. Lol it’s when you take your clothes off that the drama starts. So my dear friends have no fear, I will not be flashing you any time soon.
However there will come a time when all that armour must come off. If you have a relationship with God then the armour must come out in His presence. If you find the person that you have decided to spend the rest of your life with, then the armour must come off. Removing the armour means that you are willing to be vulnerable, you are willing to trust, you are willing to show that person who the real you is. This is not about a physical exercise mind; it’s also a mental and emotional one. If you are anything like me it will mean breaking down walls that I have spent a lifetime ‘almost lovingly’ constructing. A brick for every time somebody hurt you or mistreated you and voila! You have a nice wall fit for a castle or two 🙂
So I’m thinking that getting naked will not be as easy for me as it was when I was 1 or 2. Now I am 25 and safe to say, I have had a lot of practice putting on clothes lol. But you see that’s why you can’t be naked with just anybody. You cannot give your pearls to pigs. You cannot be vulnerable with somebody who has no intention of staying a moment longer than it takes to ‘hit that’. Don’t give me that bs about how will I know? If he uses phrases like ‘hit that’ then you know. Furthermore if you have any questions whatsoever about a person; just give it time, your questions will be answered. I have found that people can only pretend for so long. If however you are dealing with a master/mistress of the game [read: pathological liar] may I respectfully suggest that you pray? After all God alone knows everyone’s heart.
What am I saying? As much as I love clothes, they represent an innocence lost. Thankfully we can always be naked with God, that’s how He intended it anyway. Or if you are lucky then you find your One. The one that is worthy of your pearls, the one that can be vulnerable with you the same way you are vulnerable with him/her. Then please feel free to run freeeee with only the wind beneath your tush 😉