Warning: I’m about to go deep on all y’all.
The title statement presupposes that you do think and from thinking you have a pretty good idea of who you are…yes? However in recent times I have found out that the answer to that question, in a lot of cases and with a lot of people, is no. A big fat NO for the purpose of emphasis even. How many people do we know that just vomit words. Pour them out willy nilly with no regard for impact or consequence. The next question then becomes ‘Did you think about what you just said’? A silly question really as common sense would presume that you have to think before you talk. For a lot of people though it’s a pattern of speak then think.
Speaking of speaking, you noticed that you can tell a lot about a person and their thoughts toward you when they are ‘only joking’? For some more complex individuals you can tell a lot about what they think about you by what they don’t say, especially when you ask them to say something.
Back to the thinking bit, how many people really know who they are? What they want? How they want to get there? Last weekend my friends and I had a lil’ game where we each had to describe one another. Some surprises, who am I kidding, a lot of surprises. It’s amazing how people see you based on their perceptions of themselves. In simple English, they look at you, look at themselves and then measure you and possibly your character. Depending on their unit of measurement you might end up as ‘one of the group’ or wanting. Therefore if you have never thought long and hard about who or what you are, you might find yourself second guessing, even questioning, your whole existence based on the depth, or not, of the character portrait that has just been painted of you.
Let’s take it a step further. Imagine if you were really out of the box and you had dreams. Cue a loud ahhhhhhhh. If you have dreams and make the mistake of telling somebody who doesn’t, then they quickly introduce you to this band of brothers who go by the name Dream Killers. Individually they are ‘Compromise’, ‘Settle’ and ‘For Less’. Like true professionals they take their job very seriously. Slinking in subtly they disarm even the strongest most determined mind. A close cousin of theirs is ‘You can’t do that’. I believe one or two of you might have met him? Yes? No? He’s a popular man about town that one. So many of even my closest friends even my family, have mentioned him once or twice. You’d think he was a legend of some sort. This close knit family can sometimes be intimidating because wherever one is, the rest are quick to follow.
Sadly they are often introduced to us by the people who are closest to us, friends, family, bosses…everybody has something to say. They back it up to with a ‘just how do you intend to do that?’ followed by a ‘nobody in your family has done that’…if that doesn’t convince you…they end with a ‘well if you like you can go ahead BUT if you ask me, I’d say you were wasting your time’. It’s at that point that you politely state ‘well nobody was asking you anyway’.
However you can only do it if you know who you are. So many dreams lie at the bottom of the wishing well just because people were discouraged by the one person who should have been cheering them along.
For the lucky few who have spent that time of self reflection, they build that drive to succeed. The no’s and the can’ts become the fuel to their fire…the wind beneath their wings…taking them higher until they find themselves living the life they had dreamt of.
It is at that point that you hear from your naysayers ‘I always knew you could do it….’