Sex in the City

Posted on December 10, 2009

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Do I see eyebrows raised? Well they should be! Having never been a fan of the SATC series it might come as a surprise to see the caption of my post…however if you look closely you’ll see that it’s slightly different from the title of the popular series.

Anywhoooooooooo enough dilly dallying. Over the last couple of days I’ve been having this conversation with my friends…is it possible to have casual sex a la sex and the city and remain emotionally detached? Most say it is… however let us look at the facts please:

The first one to support that liberated view point for the sake of this conversation we shall call Kitty [lmao]. Kitty broke up from a long standing relationship with her boy and decided to have a casual fling. Do I hear rebound anyone? She was well in control of this new ‘relationship’ calling the shots and tings. However soon, as it is with most females she began to spend a lot of time with this dude. Also she is one of them females that is always in a relationship, hasn’t learned to be alone and to love ‘me time’. So she starts to catch feelings and the guy begins to issue ultimatums…situation becomes messy

Activist number 2 we shall call mamalet. Mamalet is a fierce independent new age woman….who just happens to be engaged. Oxymoron anyone? So she believes in the power of flirtation and interaction until her wedding day. The rationale being this is the best time to do it. However, the thing is…when she is flirting and interacting and things…she doesn’t interact as much with her fiancé…also she begins to find him slightly boring. Now I am no psychologist but please let us connect the dots here.

Flirting with another man + interest in boyfriend waning=emotions flying all over the place.

It would seem that there is a transfer of emotions and that one relationship is suffering for the other. I think it’s all these TV shows and magazines that talk about women’s lib, the freedom to act like a man…take control of your universe and resist the orthodox programming. However they fail to understand that it’s no programming but how we are built as women. We are built to be caring, invest our emotions in relationships…a denial of that principle fact is a denial of who we are…

This ‘manning’ up of our feminism only leaves us hollow inside because that’s not the way we were created. While casual flings might look like fun they usually end up in disaster unless your one of the lucky few that ends up having something ‘deep’ and ‘meaningful’ come out of it.
Now I cannot conclude this post without bringing it home. I recently met a fellow, physical attraction great and things…problem is we are both complicated with complications. The physical attraction is undeniable however the issue now becomes…pursue the physical aspect or use common sense and walk away? Please also remember that while it is called common sense…time has proven that it isn’t all that common.

I know all the arguments and I’ve had them with myself and dude. So at age 23 almost 24 and with a masters degree in my pocket I have decided to take the high road and follow common sense. I am of the opinion that life isn’t complicated we are the ones that make it so. So I am de-complicating my life by ignoring passion and focusing on sensibility. I’m I the only one that that sounds intensely boring to?

Anyway that’s my plan and I’m sticking to it. Delusions anyone?

M.

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Posted in: C'est La Vie ?