Diary of a Mad Black Flatmate:

Posted on December 4, 2009


I’m naïve- I get that. 

 I grew up in a very sheltered home and it gave me a warped perception of the human race. Not a perception of the world coming together to sing ‘Kumbaya’ but one of there being good people in the world. That people are not necessarily bad and that the circumstance a person is in will generally dictate how that person behaved. I was taught to think that there was a lot of good in the world- that people were generally nice to each other and didn’t do things to aggravate and annoy others. This perception stayed with me for quite sometime. I can now admit that it didn’t help my choice in relationships and friendships when I got older. I always had excuses in my head for people’s betrayals, when boyfriends misbehaved, or girlfriends gossiped. This perception stayed with me until I moved in with my flatmate!!

Why do you ask?

   She’s the ‘Oh, I don’t get how you can go out with African guys- they’re so unromantic and don’t know how to show emotions’ kind of person, just because she’s in a relationship with a guy from Greece and their acts of romance and emotion reads like soft porn in my living room.

   She’s the ‘I can’t believe you buy Sainsbury’s basics’ kind of person; just because money is tight this month and I’m trying to stretch out the pounds to the end of the month.

   She’s also the ‘Thank goodness you’ve finally decided to do something about your weight problem- you’re finally regaining your waist line!’ I wear size 12-14 clothes and have never considered myself as having a weight problem!

   She’s the ‘I only shop in Kookai, Coast and House of Fraser’ kind of person, and ‘ I can’t understand how you sleep in Argos sheets’; because her dad sends her an allowance- she’s 31 – while the rest of us have to work for a living.

   She’s the ‘I can’t watch your TV-the resolution is hurting my eyes’;   because said father bought her a 35 inch flat screen TV.

   She also has two voices-The first voice drips with feigned poshness for the said boyfriend and
   anyone else she feels she has to impress; the second is more normal used for us lesser folk …of course.

Now this one is my favourite:

She’s the- ‘I can’t believe you put so much pepper in your chicken wings, it tastes like acid’ and ‘I can’t
   believe you eat chicken wings, don’t you know that’s where the vets   inject the birds?
’; a couple of days go by and then she’s the ‘Can I  have one of your chicken wings? They taste amazing!’

 Like I said, I used to think people are generally good and wouldn’t do and say things to aggravate and annoy you. But that all changed when I moved in with my flatmate. Having a flatmate was not something I particularly wanted- I craved my space and solitude, but with the financial climate being what it was and after being continually faced with mounting house bills, I decided it would be wise to look for a bigger place to share with someone.

So here I am, stuck with the flatmate from hell- ok maybe I’m being too harsh but I’m tired, upset and want back my space and peace of mind!


Posted in: C'est La Vie ?