Here Come the Boys

Posted on November 27, 2009


In contemplating the name of this piece I actually toyed [excuse the pun] with calling it ‘the advent of the toy boy’ or is ‘age really nothing but a number? Before I get ahead of myself let me explain my oftentimes very random thought process.

Right so if you’re like me you watched the stunning Mariah Carey on Sunday’s X Factor. If you’re also like me, you took one look at that shiny diamante microphone stand and wondered how in the world did Nick Cannon landed Mariah?

Mariah Carey, Demi Moore, Whitney Houston, Madonna…what do they all have in common? Yes i know they are all celebrities wise guy…apart from that! They’ve made it fashionable to date the younger man. Allow me to present the facts:

Mariah 39 and Nick Cannon 28

Whitney 46 and Ray J 28 [personally I didn’t think he was that old]

Demi 47 and Ashton 31

Madonna 51 and Jesus 22 [can we pause take a moment at the irony?]

With an 11 year age gap Mariah and Nick are the closest in age. Don’t get me wrong I’m not knocking anybody, you take love where you can find it and all that jazz. Plus with what they are feeding these youngsters I don’t blame anybody for falling or almost falling into the trap.

Yes yes there is a story. Ok so last year I’d been scoping this guy in church…nice looking brother…he just comes to church and goes quietly.  So one day we get to talking he invited me for coffee, we’re chatting getting along just fine until I make the mistake and ask him his age. I don’t usually do that but he kept referring to my friend’s younger brother. Now this is another story…this younger brother yea…I thought was my friend’s older brother and he’s really nice looking. He is the kind of nice looking that has all your friends oohing and aahing. Therefore imagine my shock and dismay when my friend tells me the boy just turned 20! My God lives! Somebody could have been going to jail!

So fast forward to my conversation with my new friend; when he kept asking me about my friend’s younger brother, my senses were alert…’’yes why u asking me about him…what have u heard?’’ lol. He replies ‘’Oh we are good friends’’. It was therefore only logical that I ask him his age. Would you like to take a wild guess? Yes? No? If you said 20 then you would have won the GlamTings sweepstakes. I refused to accept his answer so I made him sing ‘all liars shall go to hell fire’, made him pinky swear…alas he wasn’t lying or joking.

How saddening….yes yes i know age is nothing but a number but please its common knowledge that girls mature faster than guys….

That brings me to my point with these celebrities and their toy boys or if you prefer ‘younger men’.  As these women have already reached ‘maturity’ what would their conversations be about? Or is there no talking involved? Plus do they not feel slightly awkward that they could have given birth to their significant others? Furthermore let us consider if the shoe was on the other foot, i.e. an older man marries/dates a girl half his age. Would the girl not be labeled ‘a gold digger’ or ‘a girl with daddy issues’?

While I’m sure that there are advantages to dating someone younger is there not something a bit creepy about Madonna’s almost 30 year age gap? He’s barely come of age…how would the ‘toasting’ have gone down?

Jesus: ‘Oh mehn Madonna I’ve been a fan of yours for ages, my mum has all your records…’like a virgin’ was uhm totally rad’

Madonna: ‘Err thanks?’

Oh to be a fly on the wall of that relationship….on second thought ….maybe not

You know what I dunno…I might think it freaky you might think it the coolest idea since cheesecake…

As this unknown author states:

Go for younger men. You might as well – they never mature anyway.

Posted in: C'est La Vie ?