In the SWING of things

Posted on October 29, 2009


It’s week three and yes indeed, we are getting into the swing of things, you know…harassment from the editor, death threats etc so we figured we had to step the gear up.

 A bag is useful for a soldier, obviously not as useful as guns or shoes perhaps, but you do need to stash your spare bullets away. So for this installment of prepare for winter war chic, we’re focusing on the appropriate bag.

It’s a classic, and we don’t say that lightly. The Chanel 2.55


 [Doesn’t look like a woman you want to fight right?]

The very history of the bag makes it well suited to our quest. Coco Chanel designed it to suit her lifestyle; she wanted something to free her hands. Although the straps were femininised into a chain link, legend has it that they were inspired by the straps used on soldier’s bags. Yes, we’re thinking the same thing “perfect!”

More of said legend has it that in addition to other things, she designed the interior to hide secret letters from her lover. Look we’re not here to judge, it’s your war, hide what you like, the bag is there for you with that very design detail in mind.


The 2.55 represents February 1955, her birthday [the bag, not Coco]. Karl Lagerfeld, much like Mr. Bailey at Burberry has done an amazing job at reinvention season after season as well as introducing the re-issue in 2005 to celebrate her 50th birthday. [Want more history lessons? Hit the internets]

Now comes the fun part, this season’s 2.55 will set you back £1715 [yes, we thought the same thing “Why don’t I have a sugardaddy?”]. Well, much as we try to offer all services, we cannot provide said daddy’s but should you be so desperate, we know some folks who know some guys who have the hook-ups if you want the M.I.C [Made in China]. NO! We don’t advocate it either, but alas we’re not your moral compass. We will say this though, we are snobs who don’t do fakes; if it’s a luxury label we buy the real deal which is why we have none.


To you upright citizens who will not be compromised, all manner of doppelgangers abound on the high street and among other luxury brands.



 celestina 860

[Celestina £860]


 [L-R YSL £735, YSL £1145]


Are you barking mad?

marc jc 4100

[Marc Jacobs £4100]




[L-R Joanna Louca £150; Reiss £159; Vanessa Bruno £238]




[L-R Asos £28; Miss Selfridge £15]


[L-R Topshop £25; Topshop £32]

Yes, these cheap and cheerful alternatives should cushion that lower lip which probably went thumping to the ground when you saw the price of the Marc Jacobs.

So you’re probably wondering the relationship between these bags and the battle theme. Well, the bag serves dual purposes, when folks hear the thumping of your shoes and the “swoosh” of your trench approach, they are on alert. The bag plays down the imminent danger, it’s pretty enough to charm the opposition and neat enough to swing it much like David did to Goliath [obviously, we’re assuming you’ll fill it with rocks]

Hang it off your shoulder, carry as a clutch, scrunch the chain up in your hand and let it dangle…it can be worn in a myriad of ways. Actually we won’t advise clutching; it may be difficult to slay someone that way.

Signed, Ebewn

Posted in: The F Word