A Spring in Her Step by MightyMe featuring a nylon tote

Since the first ROE video hit the site I’ve got various people asking me what my own views are on the rules of engagement. How many days should guys wait before they call? Should women make the first move? What do you think about rules in general?

Let me start by saying….I hate rules. Tell me I can’t do something and I ask why?  There must be solid reasons and ‘because it’s just not done’ is not one of them. Tell me why, tell me how…let it make sense.

However in my life I have seen certain things. One of these is that guys who ‘wait’ before they call you, following a rule are usually just game players. If a guy was into you and wanted to speak to you he would. Its immature I think for a guy to wait 3 days just so he doesn’t seem to be eager.  What’s wrong with showing interest? Such people treat relationships as a power tussle…who’s gonna fall first? Unnecessary. Life is too short. If you’re into a girl and she’s not….move on…no hard feelings.

Girls if a guy calls you and you’re into the guy but you don’t pick up because you are playing a game….let me say this nicely….Grow Up. If you treat love as a game….somebody is going to lose.

Now what do I think about girls who make the first move?  I admire the courage it takes to walk up to a guy and make random conversation. Could I do it? No. It’s hard for a guy I think it must be harder for a girl….yes? No? Whatever the case may be I don’t think I could do it. Like what if the guy looks at you blankly, or says ‘please don’t disturb me I have a girlfriend’. Haha girls could we really take some of the attitude we dish if the roles were reversed? I couldn’t. That’s why I at least try to be civil (I’m gonna get called out for this one lol).

As I was saying, I’ve seen girls make the first move and then the guy starts acting all slick with it, feeling like he doesn’t have to do any work after all she’s already into him. In the one scenario I’ve actually seen the two go on to become a couple even to the stage of professing love. However something was missing, it always looked like the girl was working harder than the guy in the relationship. When he did wrong she was quick to forgive until his sins escalated to the point that even the guy had to say ‘you know what, this isn’t working’.

Maybe that’s just the relationships I’ve seen. Maybe relationships do work when the girl makes the first move. Maybe just maybe I’m not cool enough, maybe even just maybe, I’m old fashioned *shrug* who knows?

So from the foregoing you can see why this ‘women making the first move’ business is not really for me.

Next should you give a guy who asks your number? I can only use myself as an example. First of all if you can’t play the ‘I have a boyfriend’ card then I don’t really see what the big deal is in giving a guy your number. If he doesn’t look homeless or crazy then why not? Even if you’re not interested you can’t have too many friends. Worst case scenario you stop picking up the phone if he begins to show  crazy tendencies. This isn’t CSI or whatever where the guy can trace your home address from your phone number (I hope) so what’s the big deal? Just don’t pick up or ask him to stop calling.

But don’t listen to me. At the end of the day do what works for you. There are no hard or fast rules to life, love or living.  Rules might work for you or your relationships might be the exception to the rules. At the end of the day all you can do is aim to be the best person you can be and hope that you find somebody who accepts you for you…..warts and all.

Photo Credit: africa / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

To celebrate Lover’s Day, we have done something different. I stepped out of my comfort zone and became a video honey…lol ok maybe not quite or ever. What i have done however is team up with my brothers from NupeMag.com to bring you the first of its kind. Yep you guessed it….a music video.

We’ve teamed up with a number of beautiful people of both sexes to discuss ‘the Rules of Engagement’. What do you do when you fancy somebody? What are the rules? Are there any rules? Are these rules outdated?

As you can imagine there were diverse responses. Now you might agree or not…that’s what the comment section is for .

Here’s Part 1 of what promises to be an exciting series

P.s dont forget to leave your comments x

For the casual date i.e. cinema or romantic walk:

If however you intend to brave the teeming crowds and go out to dinner on Valentine’s day; you might want to consider the little black dress’s baby sister, the little red dress. Little with a whole lotta umph:

Lets make tomorrow’s Valentine celebration….one to remember

x

That’s why your memories make your heart hurt
God should own your heart, but instead you’re letting men pay rent

Buying the lies they tell u to enslave you
Paid with the broken pieces of your heart…
you’re like a star trapped in glass..

Beautiful goddess…
in His image He made you…
But they treat u like you’re nothing more than a piece of ass…

People only treat you how you let them…
Your heart and soul are your compass stop relying on your body for direction

I look at you and see the crowning glory of creation
who defines perfection??…

you’ve grown so used to your features u don’t realise how beautiful you look to a stranger
you look in the mirror and see what you choose to see…

if only you could see yourself through my eyes
you wouldn’t look away when I tell you how beautiful you are to me…

You were born for a purpose…
The Almighty took the time to create you…

so why feel worthless…why waste your tears?
Just because a mere man refuses to date you?

Listen to me darling…

Rejection is not someone wanting you out of their life….
Rejection is someone God wanted out of your future…

So much potential…So much Promise…
The very imperfections you hate…are the things that make you perfect…

Don’t give your lips to someone who won’t give you their ears…
if it seems like he doesn’t even listen when you speak…how can he hear the other things you’re too afraid to say…?

Don’t give your body to someone who doesn’t want your heart…
‘Cos after he has taken…he’ll be gone…n if you throw yourself at him…and you fall in love…he wont catch you…
The Right man will never break your heart…and
If he makes you cry…he’ll be right there beside you to wipe them away…

To Be Continued…..

Adonis

photo credit: www.1stwebdesigner.com

The night started off with Rihanna, barely clothed and attempting to sing. Gosh my ears were hurting. For as long as I live I will never understand her appeal and how she is able to sell concert tickets. I can understand selling a CD because of all the sound editing that goes into it, but not a concert. My male friends explain to me that the issue with her voice is common knowledge but she looks good, and can move her hips. Hmmmmppphhhh. She did go home with the award for best female R &B artist.

Next to perform was Enrique Iglesias who brought Pitbull on to the stage with him. You don’t realize how good some of these artists are until you hear them perform. His voice was smooth albeit a lil shaky and dude refuses to get older, he looks sexier than ever. He was beat out by Shakira in the Latin Music Favorite artist category.

I happen to like Miley Cyrus by the way, and I happened to like this performance, the song choice and the fact that she chose to stay clothed. She was one of the few whose vocals were actually good last night.

Then it was Diddy and his crew ‘Dirty Money’ next to perform. Let’s just say, and this is my opinion, that it was a forgettable performance. I really like the song they performed, ‘I’m Coming Home’, but they ruined it. It was back to the football game on my computer for me at this point.

I’m from Michigan and so you already know I am a Kid Rock lover. I love, his love for a state that ranks lowest in every category possible in America. His tribute to the city was very touching and I was so proud of him.

Surprisingly, and I say that because I love them, I did not like the Black Eyed Peas‘ performance or maybe I just don’t really like the song, either ways it wasn’t working for me. They did go home with the AMA for Pop/Rock Music – Favorite Band, Duo or Group.

Katy Perry also took to the stage joined by a choir made up of little children, a ploy I reckon was to pacify the world over the Sesame Street hoopla. I don’t know if it worked but hey! She is a decent performer though, but her voice was not quite great, at this point I’m thinking the microphone is to blame.

The night absolutely belonged to the next performer though and I think no one was shocked, hence the fact it was the lowest rated broadcast in AMA history. Justin Bieber is who I speak of, winner of four AMA’s: Pop/Rock Music – Favorite Male Artist, Pop/Rock Music – Favorite Album: My World 2.0, T-Mobile Breakthrough Artist of the Year and the coveted Artist of the Year. I think he has reached puberty though and his voice is cracking, at least that’s what I choose to believe is the reason why he sounded the way he did.

Bon Jovi has to be one of my favorite band of all times and I loved their medley of ‘What Do You Got?/You Give Love A Bad Name/It’s My Life’ . Sooooo cool, definitely one of the highlights of the night for me.

Pink is a beast and a creative genius to me. She is awesome and no one can tell me otherwise. I love this woman and watching her shake her booty while pregnant was so cute.

I bet a lot of time was spent rehearsing for Ne-yo’s performance. Very theatrical but somehow I wasn’t impressed. I couldn’t quite place what I was displeased with though, it just seemed like too much was going on.

Just not a fan of Taylor Swift even though I can’t help but agree that she has some good songs. She looked good and this was one of her better performances vocally but can she quit with the Kanye West references already? She went home with the award for Country Female Artist.

So it might just be me, but Christian Aguilera really failed to hit the mark last night. She looked fat; the performance lacked energy and was she lip syncing there a lot? Hmm Britney Spears reminder anyone?

I hate to say this but I think Usher is nearing retirement. First off, the performance looked identical to the last award show he performed at (I forget the name now), he loses his breath so much jumping up and down and he has lost his ability to sing. Shoutout to Swedish House Mafia though, Love them. Usher went home with the awards for Soul R&B Album and Artist.

My love for the group Train knows no bound, their performance of ‘Hey, Soul Sister‘ with the cute lil black girl with nappy hair (lol, I’m just saying, you know you thought the same thing) was my second favorite of the night.

Kesha, Kesha, Kesha. I have no words for this lady. The way I look at it, I like the person who writes the songs and sings them and I love the songs but I hate to see her and would rather forget that it was her actually singing, kinda like how I feel about Nicki Minaj.

The Carlos Santana/Gavin Rossdale duet was an EPIC FAIL. It just did not work. Fortunately for you, you don’t have to find out why, because it seems no one bothered to record that bit.

And for the last but definitely not the least, the most anticipated performance of the night, and the reason why I watched this show in the first place, we had (and drum roll please) NKOTB and BSB. New Kids On The Block and Back Street Boys came together to bring us a medley of songs I remember dancing to as a teenager which seems like a lifetime ago now. The way everyone knew the songs, you understood how significant they were to pop culture and music. It was definitely a good way to end the night.

So maybe the 2010 AMAs were not a total waste of three hours, I loved the fact that most of the presenters where lead actors and actresses from current ABC shows and there was no Kanye Moment, no obvious gaffes and the fact that they did not have a host was a good look for me.

To see the complete list of winners and pictures go to http://abc.go.com/shows/american-music-awards

So Till Next Time

Peace and Love

Neefemi

It is true that Puffy & His BadBoy team handles production 4 some of the album… why? I said I didn’t know when I first wrote this. I thought the reason was probably to make Jay more appealing to a wider audience and I was right as Jay-Z himself has later come out to confirm this…

While Meth used that as an excuse to get out of some blame to his poor showin on tical 0, Jay-Z on the other hand stays true to his hustle and doesn’t let the badboy shine take away from his street lyrics and HE STILL MAKES AN ESSENTIAL Hip-HOP ALBUM albeit a borderline poppish production or two!!!

And if you thought Reasonable Doubt was a fluke, In My Lifetime squashed that thot!!! And in hindsight, with the right 1st single, this album could’ve blown up more than its 1.2 million sold.

Lets get to the track by track and I’ll see you at the other side…

*Intro/A Million And One/Rhyme No More*

In my opinion, nobody makes a better intro than Jay-Z!!! This one aint no exception. The first of two DJ PREMIER joints. All I’ll say is dude needed more tracks on this album. Its an awesome start off to the album. Jay-Z flows sick over a Premo beat, that’s official!!! The second half of this track gets me bopping my head everytime… PREMO 4 PRESIDENT!!! And Jay-Z brings the heat again signaling the rise of a rap great.

*City IS Mine*

I like this sample! Nice feel 2 it… although it sounds like a soundtrack to an action movie! Lol! Ted Riley on production but you’d think it was BadBoy at the helm cos the beats scream mainstream. But the production along with the hook is catchy and gets me singin along 2 d chorus!!! Lmao

If the production borders round commercialization, jay-Z doesn’t follow suit. He starts off conversation to the late BIG and cheekily assumes the throne & the rest of the song jus serves to stamp his claim on the throne!!!

The lyrics are pretty basic, nothing mind-blowin but Jay still keeps em on a high enuff level. As with conceited songs, there’s only so much you can say but Jay does it well as he styles on the haters.

Like he said, he’s controlling the game.

*I know What Girls Like*

The worst track on this album by a mile and a half. Puffy’s adlibs start to get me tuned off from the start & Jay doesn’t impress on his verses… production is really annoyin, its so monotonous and lack creativity.

Lil kim spits less than adequate rhymes.

The chorus??? Its not any better than the production. Jay-Z steps up a lil on the final verse as the beats gets drowned out a little but to be fair, this song is less than mediocre at best. To think its longer than Imaginary Player… atleast I enjoyed that one!!!

Puffy shut up already!!!

This track should have been left out. Puffy ruins it with production and Jay cannot save it with his lyrics unlike one or two others…

*Imaginary Players*

Straight clownin at all those Jay-Z wannabes! It’s an enjoyable track, it has that badboy ghetto fab gloss sprinkled all over it (from Prestige being on production) though which is not always a bad thing. It has an R&B feel to it with a funk sound that’s typical of Prestige songs…

I like his bars but really, the flow is lazy but at the same time appropriate as the production doesn’t really challenge Jay to go hard. Its sufficient though and its short and sweet.

Nothin Long.

*Streets is Watching*

Are these the vocals from the ‘Sleeper’ movie in the background?? I like this SkI beat better than ‘who you wit II’. It brings that trumpetty jazzy feel into the song. Its yet another song directed at the street politikin with the jealousy and envy as he tries to invite you into the life of a hustler… his life! His descriptive skills shine over this SKI beats which kinda felt worn out in the middle of the 3rd verse but Jay’s short stories keep you listenin all thru 2 the end.

*Friend Or Foe 98*

The Second PREMO beat and it fits the theme of the track… Jay in story telling mode equals greatness boi!!! Motion Picture sh*t he says and I concur!!!

The production is nothing special from PREMO but its short and its bangin… gets your head bouncin and it goes along more than adequately… you’re caught on how this story pans out that for one minute and a half anyway!!!

*Lucky Me*

My favourite song on this album and one of my fav Jay-Z songs period. The production is tight. How the guitar drops is beautiful and that instrument in the background… A-STAR!!!

This song would be lovely to hear live with an acoustic set I bet!!!

Buckwild & Stevie J from BadBoy worked up this soulful production.

Jay laments about the downfalls of being in the spotlight in ways only he can… lawsuits, the envy, the stress, the gold diggers, fake friends… all the hype talk & I feel his pain!!!

The vocal on chorus by Karen Anderson rides with Jay perfectly and it all gels with the simplicity of this beats to create a masterpiece.

*Sunshine*

The first single… what a 1st single is these days. Made 4 mainstream audience and if you’ve seen the video, then you’ll know why this album as a whole doesn’t get enuff cred… you thot Jay was goin commercial on us… I explain all dat at the beginnin

Back 2 the song…

Jus listenin, this screams marketable all over it… the lyrics aren’t vintage Jay, they’re rather dumbed down if I may be so bold. Obviously aimed at that special lady. I mean what is

“If I need it, would you gimme your kidneys?”

Foxy makes a minimal cameo. They have that chemistry but I’d rather have ‘aint no nigga’ on this rather than this pawn!!!

Babyface blesses the chorus. It just feels altogether like a Pop song (hate to say it but its true)

Very nice skit… best bit of the song if I may say so!!! Lmao

*Who You Wit II*

I dunno much bout music technically but I do have a good ear 4 whats hot and this is a bangin production by Ski!!!

A song telling all y’all ladies to get rite and come roll with you know who! Jay’s flow is on point as he rides on an obviously commercially made production (Ok I’m gone give Ski the benefit of the doubt and take that back but it does come off a bit commercial)… the overridin theme is ‘cash, money & ladies’ and asides the braggadocio and catchy wordplay, there’s really nuthin here… its usual Jay speakin 2 his ladies.

If a song doesn’t have 2 be conscious for you 2 listen, then this will do as it did 4 me… I could definately feel this in the club!!!

The continuing skit from ‘sunshine’ sounds it off nicely!!! Playerz 4 lyfe!!! Lmao

U probably recognize the 1st verse from an Amerie remix…

*Face Off*

Jay-Z and Sauce Money have that back & forth; Shaq & Kobe thing goin on in this song. I didn’t like the chorus that much, its not sayin nothing really but the verses are worth givin the song a listen…

They feed off of each other rather nicely as they conversate bout the ladies & stayin fly among other things & I guess hence the ‘face off’ title.

If you really aint a Jay-Z head, then the 1st or 2nd listen is enuff cos it really is jus a track showcasing both their wordplay/flow prowess…

Production is weak… Ok its not weak but it sounds too commercial (trackmasters). It sounds like suthin Puffy & Mase would ride, no offense!!!

I like the verses, its enjoyable to listen to this tag-team, it obviously works, now if only we could cut off the chorus somehow, the glossy beat, we could live with. I was boppin 2 this.

*Real Niggaz*

Very mellow song… very very mellow… I thot it was one of Puffy’s men on production cos it does sound like a few BadBoy tunes of that era but its some dude called Anthony Dent & I was right, he was a BadBoy hitman!!! You’re caught in 2 minds here… this is obviously a ‘made 4 mainstream audience’ beat that tries to let you into the life but Jay & Too Short aint speakin mainstream, there’s no traditional tuny hook, its jus Jay & Short talking bout what they know… getting that money while still stayin true to the game.

Somehow that 3rd verse, I wasn’t feelin it! Jay & Short don’t quite vibe on d same verse as they did in the previous 2 but with lines like

“If you ballin, keep ballin… if you jealous, stop…
…I want BIG to rest in peace as well as Pac… how real is that”

Its hard not to like this song!!!

*Rap Game/Crack Game*

A well nice comparison. Production from Jaz-O (Big Jaz) not the best! Its incoherent as it starts, took me a few listens to get into the flow. Aint that a sample of Nas on the Chorus??? I like the creativity that Jay shows here as he takes a different route in telling his hustlin tales. At the end though, he lets you know he’s at home on either turf!!!

It ends too early though as there are only as many ways the rap game looks like the crack game.

*Where I’m From*

This is a real HARD steady beat from surprisingly Derrick D Dot with hard kickin rhymes from the boi! Its kinda hard 2 swallow attimes if you’re jus on here 2 catch a glimpse of the glossier Jay-Z (ICEBERG). This is not bout the girls and money & the fabulous lifestyle… this is real!!!

This gives you a first hand account of the Marcy projects. Its hardcore… drugs, thugs, police, deaths, politics and the hustle! His lyrics don’t quite take you there and that’s OK cos it don’t sound like a nice place 2 be, however the depiction of where he’s from is vivid and you do get a Birdseye view.

A recommended listen.

*You Must Love Me*

Before ‘soon you’ll understand’, there was this… much better (I might add) retrospective apology to his mum, elder brother and girl in his life!!!

The song starts off real nice with a lil interlude.

Kelly Price on hooks and backin vocals in MAGIC.

The vocals are real soulful and it gels with Jay’s verses which are on point all the way thru as they tell rather sad stories!!!

The production is a bit eerie which i luv… I like the beats on here, its simple and it efficiently adds to the retrospect feel of the song.

One of my favourites!!!

VERDICT!!!

In 2008, I said “8.9/10… it gets 9 on some days!” and I was chastised for giving it such a high score (nobody bothered to complain about my lazy writing & spelling habits SMH) and it was suggested that the review I gave it didn’t warrant a 9 or an 8.9 but I have to disagree. Maybe NOT 9 but I’d say in the regions of 8.5 – 8.9/10, I really like this album BUT I’ll let you decide…

Triple A